To Myself,
It’s been 1 year and 7 months since you started looking for jobs. You’ve experienced a lot, pivoting from data analyst to data engineer to now searching for software engineering roles. The journey, as you always describe it, hasn’t been fun — scammed out of money by an agent, doing free labor for others, working overtime on a part-time salary. Even though you’ve started to find your passion and goals, recently I’ve noticed you getting a lot more stressed again.
You see others getting offers from companies and universities, while you’re still searching.
You keep saying that there’s a fog around you that you can’t clear no matter how hard you try. You feel lost and torn - because you always want to build something great, but you feel uneasy for being different from everyone else.
It’s okay. Please be patient with yourself. Remember the insights you came up with while running along the beach? When you’re focused on running, the only things in your mind are the goal and how far you are from it. Don’t overthink! — because you’ve been running toward your goal all along.
徐国轩
— Mar 15, 2026